1. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
3. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
4. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
5. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
6. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.