Cheeky/funny Quotes

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Food Art

 

This gives you the excuse to play with you food

 
<- Tomatoe herding Cauliflower sheep

<- Nerdy Apple

<- Suciding Onions

<- Pineapple Parrot

<- Marshmallow Pirate

<- T-Rex Watermelon

<- Rockmelon Rose

<- Screaming Watermelon

<- zombie Eggs

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Mind Teasers

Here are some mind teasers to ask your friends.
 
1. What do you do if an endangered animal eats endangered plants?
2. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
3. Why do people ask, "were you sleeping?" on waking you up from sleep?
4. How would you know if the dictionary had a wrongly spelled word?
5. What's the point in asking a waiter, "is that dish good?" Which waiter would say it isn't!
6. They accidentally step on your foot, then ask, "did that hurt?" Why?
7. Would you believe in a liar who admits he is one?
8. If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', is 'progress' the opposite of 'congress'?
9. How can you 'lend' someone a helping hand when you can't take it off?
10. What treatment would you seek if you were addicted to therapy?
11. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves
12. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
13. How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
14. If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
15. Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
16. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
17. When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
18. If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from
19. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
20.Why do people ask, "going up?" even when they see you are standing at level 0 waiting for the elevator.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

A Rich Man's Wealth


A Rich Man’s Wealth


There once was a greedy man,

Who shared nothing of his,

He took from the poor,

And gave the spoils to the rich,

He was truly hated,

And he had no friends,

One day he woke up,

It was a shining day,

He got up out of bed,

But tripped up and landed on his head,

His room was a clutter,

Of things he had taken,

He had no space for them you see,

So they laid on the floor,

Hung off the doors,

And spread to his tables,

As he got up,

He stopped and he looked,

“I don’t need all this stuff” said he,

So he packed it in bags,

And rode to his village,

And gave his stuff away,

The keys to his castle,

His eight noble horses,

Silver forks and golden spoons,

And his pet monkey too,

Until he had nothing left,

Except for the clothes on his back,

And the food in his belly,

But the smiles of the villages,

Made his heart race,

And made him as happy as can be,

He had nothing left but the smile on his face,

As he walked down the road,

To a cave nearby,

There he as a hermit,

Giving what he made away,

He made many friends,

Which he met often,

To tell them stories of joy,

He died of old age,

With a smile on his face,

“I’m glad I gave away all that stuff” he said,

Just before his last breath was taken.  




                                                                                                                                                  Nabilah Stephens

Short Poems


Short Poems


Bye Bye Blue Jay

Bye bye blue jay,

Where are you going?

I’m going up to heaven,

To watch the water flowing.

 

Build here, Build there

Build a road here,

Build a house there,

Throw a giant party,

Then fall down the stairs

 

Living Life

For those who die,

For those who live,

For those who lie,

And for those who forgive.

 

Shining Bright

During the day,

During the night,

When the sun shines,

And when the moon is bright.

Shining Knight


Shining Knight


When the sun sinks low,

When the moon rises high,

Where shadow whispers,

And children cry,

Rides a Knight in shining armour,

On a gallant beast,

He’s as strong as a mountain,

He’s as quick as a cheetah,

But he’s as arrogant as a pig,

And his pride has no end,

He defeated many foes,

But gained no friends.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Tricky Riddles


For some I go fast
for others I'm slow.
To most people, I'm an obsession
relying on me is a well practiced lesson.


ANSWER: Time

I only have one eye and a long tail that I let fly. Every time I go through a gap, I leave a bit of my tail in the trap. What am I?

Answer: A needle and thread
 
Where does Friday come before Thursday?

Answer: In the Dictionary.

In order to go on you need it. In order to leave you must lose it. In order to survive you must protect it. It is doomed by death, cursed from below, yet everything has it. What is it?

Answer: Life

What material makes you smart but can kill you?

Answer: A tie because you can strangle yourself with one.

There are four houses,a red house, a green house, a blue house, and a white house. The red man lives in the red house, the green man lives in the green house, the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the White House?

Answer: The President

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

Answer: An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away!