Food Art

 

This gives you the excuse to play with you food

 

<- Tomatoe herding Cauliflower sheep

<- Nerdy Apple

<- Suciding Onions

<- Pineapple Parrot

<- Marshmallow Pirate

<- T-Rex Watermelon

<- Rockmelon Rose

<- Screaming Watermelon

<- zombie Eggs

Mind Teasers

Here are some mind teasers to ask your friends.
 

1. What do you do if an endangered animal eats endangered plants?

2. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

3. Why do people ask, "were you sleeping?" on waking you up from sleep?

4. How would you know if the dictionary had a wrongly spelled word?

5. What's the point in asking a waiter, "is that dish good?" Which waiter would say it isn't!

6. They accidentally step on your foot, then ask, "did that hurt?" Why?

7. Would you believe in a liar who admits he is one?

8. If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', is 'progress' the opposite of 'congress'?

9. How can you 'lend' someone a helping hand when you can't take it off?

10. What treatment would you seek if you were addicted to therapy?

11. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves

12. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

13. How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

14. If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
15. Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
16. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

17. When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

18. If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from

19. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

20.Why do people ask, "going up?" even when they see you are standing at level 0 waiting for the elevator.

A Rich Man's Wealth

A Rich Man’s Wealth

There once was a greedy man,

Who shared nothing of his,

He took from the poor,

And gave the spoils to the rich,

He was truly hated,

And he had no friends,

One day he woke up,

It was a shining day,

He got up out of bed,

But tripped up and landed on his head,

His room was a clutter,

Of things he had taken,

He had no space for them you see,

So they laid on the floor,

Hung off the doors,

And spread to his tables,

As he got up,

He stopped and he looked,

“I don’t need all this stuff” said he,

So he packed it in bags,

And rode to his village,

And gave his stuff away,

The keys to his castle,

His eight noble horses,

Silver forks and golden spoons,

And his pet monkey too,

Until he had nothing left,

Except for the clothes on his back,

And the food in his belly,

But the smiles of the villages,

Made his heart race,

And made him as happy as can be,

He had nothing left but the smile on his face,

As he walked down the road,

To a cave nearby,

There he as a hermit,

Giving what he made away,

He made many friends,

Which he met often,

To tell them stories of joy,

He died of old age,

With a smile on his face,

“I’m glad I gave away all that stuff” he said,

Just before his last breath was taken.  




                                                                                                                                                  Nabilah Stephens

Short Poems

Short Poems

Bye Bye Blue Jay

Bye bye blue jay,

Where are you going?

I’m going up to heaven,

To watch the water flowing.

 

Build here, Build there

Build a road here,

Build a house there,

Throw a giant party,

Then fall down the stairs

 

Living Life

For those who die,

For those who live,

For those who lie,

And for those who forgive.

 

Shining Bright

During the day,

During the night,

When the sun shines,

And when the moon is bright.

Shining Knight

Shining Knight

When the sun sinks low,

When the moon rises high,

Where shadow whispers,

And children cry,

Rides a Knight in shining armour,

On a gallant beast,

He’s as strong as a mountain,

He’s as quick as a cheetah,

But he’s as arrogant as a pig,

And his pride has no end,

He defeated many foes,

But gained no friends.

Tricky Riddles

For some I go fast
for others I'm slow.
To most people, I'm an obsession
relying on me is a well practiced lesson.

ANSWER: Time

I only have one eye and a long tail that I let fly. Every time I go through a gap, I leave a bit of my tail in the trap. What am I?

Answer: A needle and thread

 

Where does Friday come before Thursday?

Answer: In the Dictionary.

In order to go on you need it. In order to leave you must lose it. In order to survive you must protect it. It is doomed by death, cursed from below, yet everything has it. What is it?

Answer: Life

What material makes you smart but can kill you?

Answer: A tie because you can strangle yourself with one.

There are four houses,a red house, a green house, a blue house, and a white house. The red man lives in the red house, the green man lives in the green house, the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the White House?

Answer: The President

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

Answer: An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away!

Cute and Funny Cats

Funny Homeschooling Pictures

 

Interesting animal facts

1. Sharks are the only known species to never suffer from cancer.
2. This is really interesting! You will not believe this one! A mosquito has 47 teeth.
3. Brainpower! A garden caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
4. The largest ever lobster to be found weighed 19 kg. It was found in 1934.
5. Can you walk underwater? Well, here is one animal that can – the Armadillos.
6. Its been 4,000 years and no new animal-species has been domesticated.
7. Its easier to make camels milk into ice-cream than cows milk
8. Compass termites of Northern Australia build tall nests that are wedge-shaped. They measure up to 3.5 m in length.
9. The world has approximately one billion cattle, of which about 200 million belong to India.
10. The most yolks ever found in one chicken egg was nine.
11. Shark corneas are used in eye transplants and shark bone marrow can be used to graft human bones.
12. 99% of all animal species that ever lived on Earth are now extinct..
13. Most tropical marine fish can survive in a tank filled with human blood

Canberra freezing.

+25°C: Queenslanders turn on the heat. Melbournians sunbathe.
+10°C: Melbournians turn on the heat. People in Tasmania plant gardens.
+5°C: Sydney residents shiver uncontrollably. People in Canberra go swimming.
+2°C: Italian cars won't start. People in Canberra drive with the windows open.
0°C: Distilled water freezes. Canberra water gets thicker.
-7°C: Sydney people wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Canberra throw on a T-shirt.
-9°C: Queenslanders begin to evacuate the state. People in Canberra go camping.
-18°C: Melbourne landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canberra have a last BBQ before it gets cold.
-23°C: People in Perth cease to exist. People in Canberra lick flagpoles.
-29°C: Sydney people fly away to South Pacific islands. People in Canberra throw on a light jacket.
-40°C: Darwin disintegrates. People in Canberra rent videos.
-51°C: Mt. Hotham freezes. Canberra Girl Guides begin selling Guide biscuits door to door.
-62°C: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Penguins leave Antarctica. Canberra Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-73°C: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Canberra put on a coat.
-114°C: Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Canberra get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
-183°C: Microbial life start to disappear. Canberra cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-273°C: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Canberra start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-296°C: Hell freezes over. Canberra wins the soccer.

Funny Pictures

Junky junk

1. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
3. There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
4. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
5. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
6. An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Funny bumper stickers

1. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
2. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
4. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
5. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
6. Allow me to introduce my selves
7. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....
8. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
9.Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mum?
10.You! Off my planet!
11. Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
12. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
13. Anarchy is better than no government at all.
14. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

All these wonderful bumper sticker jokes are found at http://www.ahajokes.com/

Things that I didn't know.

1. Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
2. Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
3. Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.
4. It's against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.
5. Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
6. A snail can have about 25,000 teeth.
7. The Eiffel Tower shrinks 6 inches in winter.

Australian facts

1. The Australian Coat Of Arms has on it a kangaroo and an emu. The reason for this is that the kangaroo and the emu cannot go backwards but can only walk forwards.
2.  Australia, founded by convicts. The homicide rate is in Australia is 1.8 per 100,000 of population. The United States was founded by religious zealots. It's homicide rate is 6.3 per 100,000. Almost 400% greater than Australia.
3. The venom of the Australian funnel-web spider can kill a person in less than an hour, and its fangs can bite right through a shoe.
4. Glenn King at the University of Queensland is studying the Blue Mountains funnel-web spider (Hadronyche versuta) with an eye toward developing eco-friendly pesticides. Proteins in this spider’s venom target the nervous system of insects but leave humans unharmed.
5. There are more than 150 million sheep in Australia, and only some 20 million people.
6.  Around 115 Australians per 100,000 of population are in jail. This compares with: New Zealand 155, UK 141, Germany 100, Spain 138, Canada 116, South Africa 400, USA 700.
7. The tropical north of Australia is home to the world’s largest species of crocodile, the salt water crocodile. These creatures are protected in Australia. Males can occasionally grow to lengths of over 6 metres (20 feet). Each year one or two people are eaten by crocodiles in Australia
8. Australia has the lowest precipitation of any of the world’s inhabited continents. (Antarctica gets less.) 70 percent of Australia gets less than 500 mm (20 inches) of rainfall per year
9. Nearly twenty million people now live in Australia, 95% of them on only 1% of the coastal land around continent. The entire middle parts of Australia are largely empty, so population density is calculated in square kilometers per person, not the number of people per square kilometer.

And nothing to do with Australia but still is interesting is.......
'Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'.

Useless facts

These are some useless facts you call tell to impress your friends.


1. Beetles tastes like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon!
2. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off! 3. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child!
4. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring wasn't added to it!
5. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath! 
6. You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206!
7. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!
8. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!
9. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
10.  An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain!